I am not a Feminist

 

I just typed in “what is feminism?” in google search and the first definition in the search I got was “the advocacy on women’s rights on the ground of equality of sexes”. Feminists have been known to fight for women rights over the years for things we now look at like normal such as voting, owning property and equal pay. Yes I find it disturbing that there was once a time when women were not allowed to purchase property in certain places. Feminist also are a huge part of the organisations who are dedicated to protecting and helping against women getting abused sexually or domestically. Feminists also fight for women to have the right to make decisions concerning their own bodies, such as having the right to abortion and having access to different available contraceptive techniques. If these instances are all modern day feminism entailed, then by all means I am a feminist too. I believe a woman should have the right to make decisions on her own body, I believe a hard working woman should be rewarded in the same capacity as her male counterparts.

However I’ll try to say this in the simplest way, which is that that a woman is different from a man. That will never change men and women are different by nature, for example our different reproductive organs and what they can or cannot do. Dare I even add without sounding like stereotypicalist (yes I just made a word up), that men and women have different natural traits? Sometimes I wish women recognised the huge role they play in society instead of putting in so much energy into trying to be seen as equals to men. A woman brings life into the world; this alone proves how the world needs women for progression and development. A woman’s body is strong enough to carry a whole other life for nine months (yes I do realise a man’s help was needed to put the life there), but in the end it comes down to the woman to provide a home for the life to develop before it’s ready for the world.

In 2014 some self-proclaimed feminists are focused on slandering men, till they are pushed to believe there is no need for male existence. These bitter women let their bad experiences with men (heart break, abandoned children, domestic violence, and sexual abuse) lead them to hate all men. Agreed those men who have committed those atrocities are vile, but they are still not a representation of the whole male population. I apply this same logic to men who abuse women because of a bad experience with one woman. And as much as there are vile men that exist, vile women exist too, there are pregnant women who take drugs, women who trick men into thinking they fathered their child, women who cheat on their partners, or women who walked out on their kids. The point I am trying to make is that there are morally bankrupt groups in both genders and our personal experience with one or few of them should not lead you to hate the whole bunch.

Women and men are different by nature, biologically and behaviourally. Yes I do agree that both genders should have the right to make personal decisions without feeling oppressed, I also believe in personal liberation. I am glad that I am a woman, and appreciative of all the instincts and gifts that come naturally to me due to my womanhood. I do not have to hate men in order to push the equality agenda. I choose not to judge a whole gender based on limitations of some. I want to be a mother one day and I know I will need the help of a man to make that happen. I one day want to be married and raise children in a two parent home. If it ever happens that I have to do it all on my own due to the failings of the partner I chose, then so be it. I believe men and women can work together to make the world a better place, but I also believe we should all aim to be able to survive independently. But our abilities to survive independently as women should not lead us to fight for the abolishment of men in society, and if this view makes me a non-feminist, then so be it.

With Love

Rita Diamonds

xx